Monday, March 27, 2017

Intimacy and Stress

After the Third Eye Kiss, you have several options, depending upon your and your partner's mood:

Meditate: Let your partner simply sit quietly and relax. You may also find it rewarding to meditate immediately after the Third Eye Kiss. Sit next to your partner or back-to-back with your spine straight, close your eyes, and concentrate on your Third Eye point while taking long, slow, deep breaths for 5 to 10 minutes.

Hand and Foot Massage: A wonderful way to finish this shoulder and neck release is to massage your partner's hands and feet. This will rejuvenate your partner, after being so deeply relaxed.

Go to Bed Together: If you and your lover feel like being intimate and relaxing together, take your clothes off and hop into bed. Discover what your partner is like in bed when he or she is under the effect of endorphins, the neurochemicals released as a result of acupressure, which often produce a natural high. Many couples who have taken my training have told me that their acupressure highs are far better than any alcohol or drug they have ever tried. Learn more at and


The acupressure points presented in this section are located in the areas where tension tends to collect. Holding these points On your partner will not only relieve stress but help prevent it from accu- mulating. Use a combination of steady finger pressure and massage on each point for 1 to 2 minutes.

Familiarize yourself with these points by finding them on your partner's body. Your lover may particularly enjoy having certain points pressed or released. Give these points more attention by massaging and holding them longer, and make them part of your regular routine. You do not have to use all Of these points to reduce stress. Holding just a couple of them whenever you and your partner have a few minutes alone together can be effective. Later in this chapter, the Stress Reduction Routine gives a step—by-step sequence for using all these points effectively.


While sitting: Stand behind your partner, who is seated in a chair. Rest your fingertips on his or her shoulders for a minute. With your thumbs, gradually make contact with the marble of tension on the top of the shoulders. Hold the point firmly or massage it slowly, firmly kneading the tension out. As you increase the pressure slowly, encourage your partner to breathe deeply. End by holding the point lightly for a minute, then gradually release.

While hugging: Whether you are standing or lying down while hugging, place your inner forearms against your partner's back. Curve your fingers, hooking your fingertips onto the tightest point above the shoulder blades. Gradually apply firm pressure, as you breathe deeply with your partner. After a couple of minutes, slowly release the pressure. End by holding the shoulder points lightly.

Benefits: These points commonly get tight, resulting in irritability. It is important for lovers to massage them regularly on each other.

Intimacy and Hugging

While hugging: Whether you are standing or lying down front-to-front, hug your partner by pressing the insides of your forearms between your partner's shoulder blades. Curve your fingers, hooking your fingertips onto the tightest points above the shoulder blades. Gradually apply firm pressure as you breathe deeply together. After a couple of minutes, slowly release the pressure and hold the shoulder points lightly. End by massaging the neck and underneath the base of the skull, and then, of course, by more hugging.

While sitting: Your partner is seated in a chair. Stand behind him or her, and rest your fingertips on his or her shoulders. Use your thumbs to isolate a marble of tension in the shoulder muscles. Hold this point firmly or slowly massage it, kneading out any tension. Slowly in- crease the pressure, encouraging your partner to breathe deeply. End by holding the point lightly for a minute, gradually easing off. Learn more at and

Posterior Summit (CV 19), One Hundred Meeting (GV 20), Anterior Summit (GV 21), and Penetrating Heaven (B 7)

Locations: Place your left fingers behind your left ear and your right fingers behind your right ear. Move your fingertips up toward the top of the head, then feel for the hollow toward the back of the center of the top of the head. This is GV 20. GV 19 is also in a hollow, one thumb-width behind GV 20. GV 21 is one thumb-width in front of GV 20. All three points are on the midline of the skull.
Penetrating Heaven (B 7) is located on the top of the skull in a line directly upward from the back of the ears, one thumb’s width out- ward from the center of the top of the head.

Benefits: Holding these points opens up your intuition, body wis- dom, and connection with the universal flow. Learn more at

Applications for Spiritual Intimacy: Spiritually oriented couples can use these points during a long embrace, during breath meditations, and during lovemaking. Since the points are gateways for trans- mitting spiritual energy, making sounds while holding them and long deep breathing will increase the flow of energy through them. Learn about intimacy in the bedroom.

Making tones: While you are standing or lying down together, place one hand on the top of your partner's head. Close your eyes and posi- tion yourselves comfortably. Inhale deeply together. On the exhalation, make a long, sweet, open ”aaah” sound in harmony with your part- ner. When you run out of air, inhale deeply and make the sound again. This spiritual practice deepens your breathing and creates an ener- getic link as the acupressure points are being held.

Hold these three points with your index, middle, and ring fingers in the hollows on the back top of your partner's head as if you were playing a flute. Use these points as you hug while either standing up or lying in bed. Holding them during lovemaking or after an orgasm opens a strong spiritual connection.

Richer lovemaking experiences

Without regular stretching, our bodies become stiff and tense and tire easily. These yoga stretches prepare your body to be more relaxed and open to intimacy. Regular daily stretching awakens your body's circulation in new ways and contributes to fuller, richer lovemaking experiences.
As you stretch, close your eyes and focus on the feelings in your body. Don't force your body into stretching positions and don't strain it. Let it stretch as far as it wants to, while you accept its limitations. Stretch slowly and moderately, so that you feel some small degree of stretch but not enough to be painful. If you experience pain, you are pushing too hard. Be gentle, so that the stretches are comfortable. Learn more at

These stretching exercises should not be practiced on a full stomach. Allow at least an hour after eating before you do them- two, if you have eaten a big meal with a lot of heavy food. Nor should you stuff yourself immediately after doing these exercises. Gentle stretching releases a great deal of healing energy. Eating a lot of heavy food immediately afterward often blocks this energy in the stomach, causing nausea. Thus, after practicing these exercises, wait at least an hour before eating a substantial meal. If you get hungry before then, have some soup, tea, or a piece of fruit. Learn more at and

These gentle exercises are quite safe when you follow the common sense guidelines. Contraindications to specific stretches will be clearly noted. If you have any concern about practicing these stretches or suffer a medical condition, be sure to consult your doctor.
When you feel tightness or resistance, focus on your breath and breathe deeply. Imagine you are breathing into and out of the tight- ness. Long deep breathing is key to releasing tightness in nerves and muscles.

If you feel lightheaded after stretching or if you feel new tingling sensations moving through your body, immediately lie down on your back, cover yourself, close your eyes, and let yourself relax. A short nap or even 10 minutes of repose will allow healing energy to flow and balance. Dizziness or lightheadedness can result when the energy bound up inside a point is released and then circulates throughout your body. The circulation of this vital energy can refresh your whole body, clear your mind, and make you feel new again.

The power of touch can also cultivate body awareness. By holding acupressure points on yourself as well as on your partner, you can anchor your feelings, open yourself to a greater awareness of sensations, and balance your emotions.

Since the heart governs the emotions, the acupressure points for emotional healing are located at the level of the heart, in the chest and upper back between the shoulder blades. In people who have been emotionally hurt, abused, or traumatized, these points often feel like knots. You can open withheld feelings and release tensions in this area by practicing the following exercises once or twice a day.

Intimacy with another

The legendary Yellow Emperor, who lived more than four thousand years ago, was personally interested in ways to use sex to maintain radiant health. His wisest health ministers created the famous teachings known as The Yellow Emperor's Classic of Internal Medicine. His advisers on sexual activities compiled the ancient Taoist manuals known as The Classic of the Plain Girl and The Counsels of a Simple Girl.

The Classic of the Plain Girl inspired a great deal of sexual experi- mentation and led to various Taoist and Hindu practices known as Tantra. Tantra means weaving—the weaving of two people who transform sex into a lovemaking sacrament. Tantric erotic practices enhance sexual intimacy through sexual positions, scents, images, massage techniques, stories, visualizations, and other ways. Tantric practices treat sexuality as an art form, an aesthetic intimacy and vitality that celebrates love. Eastern sexuality is playful, intimate, and sacred, inviting couples to touch, smell, and move together. The ancient Tantric art of lovemaking encourages playful sounds and interactions, creating not only intimacy but harmony with the spirit of the heart. Learn more at and

The traditional Eastern and Western views of sexuality are quite different. After intercourse, for instance, a Taoist Chinese man may express gratitude for having ”received the nectar of the woman's enchanted garden.” While Western sexuality focuses on the attain- ment of orgasm as a goal, traditional Chinese sexology is concerned with the quality of the process of unfolding and opening up. It views orgasm not as an end in itself but as a sacred interplay of opposites: man and woman, hard and soft, giving and receiving. Learn more at

In the West, sex is often looked at as a game with set roles and positions. Men and women frequently use strategies, intrigue, and in their search into the art of lovemaking, the ancient Chinese Taoists went beyond foods and herbs, even beyond erotic techniques . . . by con- sciously maneuvering the human body’s chi, or life—energy. They did this to enhance sexual arousal, control orgasm and intensify ecstasy for both men and women.

Chinese erotic lovemaking goes beyond genital stimulation to provide powerful expressions of affection. It can awaken transfor- mative spiritual experiences while serving as an excellent physical workout and full-body massage. The ancient art of lovemaking uses inner awareness, deep breathing, meditation, massage, and body positions to stimulate certain acupressure points for obtaining radiant physical health and spiritual union with one’s partner.


Intimacy with another—the closeness of living the shared moments, each as it arises, the easy comfort of being known with- out the disguises of attempted ’perfection,' the willingness to be where I am without a blueprint or an image to be fulfilled——this particular joy is what is so new in my life.


Acupressure for Lovers aims to inspire your whole body, not just the genitals. Sexuality is not limited to intercourse and orgasm; it in- volves your mind, body, and spirit. When you practice acupressure with your partner, you stimulate all parts of your bodies. As your feet are pressed, your buttocks kneaded, your legs stretched, your shoul- ders and neck released, your hands massaged, your face touched, and your back smoothed out, your range of pleasure enlarges. The awakening of each area enables you to experience greater pleasure in other parts of your body and naturally enhances and deepens lovemaking. Learn more at

These lower abdominal points (CV 4—CV 6) restore, secure, and supplement sexual intimacy. Ancient Chinese sexology considered the Sea of Intimacy to be the center of the human body, because all of the inner meridians that come up from the genital region pass through the area. Applying gradual pressure to these points can release the lower abdominal area, which commonly cramps involuntarily when sexual energies are aroused. The Sea of Intimacy is used to treat a variety of sexual problems, including impotence, premature ejaculation, inhibited sexual desire, and infertility. Learn more at and

Location: These points are located two, three, and four finger—widths below the navel, on a line between the navel and pubic bone.

Applications: The Sea of Intimacy is an excellent set of points to press either before or during intercourse. If you are on top, place the palms of your hands on your partner's lower abdominal area, gradually applying firm pressure. Encourage your partner to breathe into your hands as you hold firmly for 2 to 3 minutes. Synchronizing your breathing while maintaining eye Contact can be an especially powerful and intimate experience. The Sea of Intimacy points can be especially arousing to a woman. (See Chapter 6.) Learn more at

Sea of Tranquility

Sea of Tranquility (CV 17) is an emotional balancing point that opens and calms the spirit of the heart. When you hug your partner and feel your hearts connect, your breastbones are pressing each other’s Sea of Tranquility points. The name Sea of Tranquility refers to the point’s calming and relaxing influence.

Location: This point lies on the center of the breastbone, four finger- widths up from the base of the bone.

Applications: The Sea of Tranquility has a wide range of uses in a love relationship. Try using this point when your partner is anxious, nervous, or tense. Either hug your partner, or place one hand on the breastbone and your other hand directly behind, on the upper back. With your eyes closed, breathe deeply together for a few minutes.
While being sexual together with your partner's shirt off, kiss and suck the Sea of Tranquility point for a minute or two. Front-to-front intercourse presses this point naturally. After intercourse, hold this point on each other, placing the palms of your hands between the shoulder blades while you breathe deeply together.

Arousal points during oral sex and intercourse

Use your whole body to apply finger pressure, carefully leaning your weight into the point. It is important to do this even if you are using your hand to grasp or squeeze the point. Gradually lean your body toward your partner, staying on the point, and ask your partner to take several long, slow, deep breaths. Try to breathe in unison, following your partner's lead. Learn more at and

Hold each point for 1 to 5 minutes as you breathe deeply together. The tighter or more painful a point is, the longer you should hold it, but limit the pressure to 5 minutes maximum. While holding a point, adjust the pressure so that you do not hurt your partner. Feel for a pulse. A clear regular pulse indicates increased circulation, so pay attention to its strength and quality. If the pulse is faint or throbbing, continue to hold the point. When it becomes regular and balanced, slowly decrease your finger pressure, ending with a light loving touch.


Womb and Vitals (B 27—B 34) and Sacral Points (B 48)

These sets of points (B 27—B 34, B 48) increase circulation through the pelvis and nurture a woman's womb. As the name indicates, the Womb and Vitals and Sacral Points strongly benefit the reproductive system. Pressing these points triggers the sacral nerves and thereby stimulates the genitals. You can use these points for arousing your partner and during intercourse itself.

Location: These points lie on the base of the spine in the hollows of the sacrum, the large bony area at the base of the spine. B 48 is located 1 to 2 finger—widths outside the sacrum and midway between the top of the hip bone and the base of the buttocks.

Applications: Try using these arousal points during oral sex and intercourse. Feel for the slight indentations at the base of your partner's spine and firmly hold these hollow areas with your fingertips. As you hug your partner front to front, gradually apply firm pressure to these points. This will bring your pelvises closer, providing stronger stimulation and greater pleasure. One minute of firm pressure on the Womb and Vitals points can significantly increase your partner's sexual pleasure.
Inner Meeting (CV 1) is an intimate point for enhancing a woman's orgasm and a man's ejaculation. Holding this point with various amounts of finger pressure can generate a deeper intimacy in your sexual life. Learn more at

Location: At the center of the perineum, midway between the anus and genitals, you will feel a ropy cordlike structure under the surface of the skin. Gradually apply firm pressure directly onto the cord in a hollow area.

Applications: Inner Meeting is a powerful point for building sexual intimacy since it is located in one of the most vulnerable areas of the body. CV 1 can also stimulate the prostate gland and prolong a man's orgasm. (See Increasing a Man's Sexual Pleasure in Chapter 7.)



You can practice acupressure with a partner in any number of ways. You can press and hold the points while you are hugging, whether as p _ an affectionate greeting or while making love. You may incorporate _ _ " acupressure into a shoulder and neck massage to relax your partner 7-’ ' after a stressful day. You may press and hold points to relieve a headache or help your partner get to sleep at night. There are numerous ways to stimulate the points: you can caress, kiss, lick, suck, and knead them as well as rub them. Often, however, the most powerful stimulation is simply to hold the point firmly. Learn more at and

Acupressure’s healing touch is safe to do on yourself and others- even if you have never done it before—as long as you follow the instructions and pay attention to the cautions. It is noninvasive and produces no druglike side effects. Since the only equipment you need is your own two hands, you can practice acupressure anytime, anywhere.
To help you locate the points, the illustrations at the end of each couple's exercise show you the major acupressure points stimulated in that exercise. In addition, Appendix A lists some of the major acupressure points for relieving common ailments and catalogs their many health benefits. For more detailed health information, refer to my previous book, Acupressure’s Potent Points. If you or your partner. Learn more at


has any of these ailments, you may wish to hold some of these points during the intimacy exercises.


Each of the 365 acupressure points has been poetically named, based on ancient sources of traditional Chinese medicine. Often the name provides insight into the point’s location or its benefits. For instance, holding the point called Rushing Door, located in the groin, can open a rush of circulation into the genitals and legs. It is sexually arousing as well as good for relieving cold feet.

In the illustrations in this book, however, the points are labeled by number. These point reference numbers follow standard abbre- viations used by professional acupressurists and acupuncturists. The point labeled Sp 6, for instance, is the sixth point on the spleen meridian. Lovers do not need to know or try to remember these point reference numbers to enjoy the many benefits of acupressure.

To touch a point, apply finger pressure gradually, aiming into the center of the body part. Hold your finger or hand perpendicular to the surface of the skin. Any pull on the skin means that the angle of pressure is incorrect. Consciously direct your finger pressure into the center of the body part being worked on. Your nails should be short.
Always remember to apply pressure gradually. The more slowly you apply pressure to the point, the more effective your fingers will be. Applying pressure gradually allows the tissues to respond, promotes healing, and encourages your partner to feel connected to you.


By developing these conscious practices into sacred rituals you will cultivate deeper intimacy. The nurturing and attention you give your relationship will facilitate your communication and open your hearts. Whether you try a few acupressure points or love positions or share a meal, a massage, or a meditation, it's important that you create spiritual and sexual practices that fit your individual bodies and sensual preferences. Once you become accustomed to the routines you formulate with your lover, your bodies can flow together without having to use this book. Enjoying your favorite points, bodywork, stretches, postures, personal daily routines, and special love rituals will become as natural as breathing. Learn more at and


Acupressure can be done by both men and women, both
young and old. Exactly why it works is somewhat
mysterious, but how to do it is relatively simple and straightforward. This chapter will show you how to stimulate acupressure points, how much pressure to use, how long to hold each point, and most important, how to locate the points. Then we will consider some special ways to make acupressure experiences intimate and rewarding. Finally, this chapter presents six sets of acupressure points that are important for romantic and sexual applications. Learn more


The triangular bone at the base of the spine (the sacrum) is a technique used clinically to relieve menstrual cramps, labor pains, sciatica, low back pain, and urinary tract disorders. But pressing the acupressure points at the base of the spine stimulates the genital region as well, so that it is often sexually arousing.

In Chinese medicine, acupressure points are considered gateways for human electrical energy. This energy, often referred to as the life force (in Iapanese ki, in Chinese chi) moves throughout the body along pathways called meridians. A clear flow of energy through the meridians is the key to radiant health, eroticism, and intimacy. Acupressure points are the junctures of these energy pathways.

Most acupressure points can be located by using major anatomical landmarks, such as bone indentations and protrusions. For instance, the point called Facial Beauty (St 3) is located directly below the center of the eye, a half-inch outside the nose, in a slight indentation underneath the cheekbone. This point is usually quite sensitive to firm pressure.

Avoid pressing directly on bones unless you feel an indentation. I . For instance, when pressing the sacrum at the base of the spine, press I gently into the indentations in the hollow of the bone.
While some points lie near bony landmarks, others are located underneath major muscle groups. To find these points, feel for a muscular cord or a slight depression between the tendons and muscles. Once you have found a muscular cord, press on it slowly and directly.

Acupressure points often feel sore upon pressure. Ask your partner to alert you to any tenderness. The tenderness is a signal that you have found a point’s exact location, but you must apply the pressure slowly and carefully so that you don't hurt your partner. Sometimes points can become extremely sore; at other times, they may not get sore at all, due to the hardened chronic tension covering them. If you find increasing or extreme sensitivity or pain at a point, gradually decrease the pressure until you achieve a balance between pain and pleasure.

Resistant to trying out new sexual activities

In the beginning, your partner may be skeptical or resistant to trying out new sexual activities. If you anticipate a reaction of this sort, I recommend that before trying some of the more advanced techniques in the book, you introduce nonthreatening activities such as the shoulder massage in Chapter 5 or the mutual foot massage in Chapter 8. Simply try a few of the points and suggestions in Chapter 4 on Building Intimacy and Chapter 5 on Preparing for Love that you think your partner might enjoy. After you find a few hands—on techniques that your lover really likes, incdrporate these acupressure techniques into your lovemaking. Once your partner is open to exploring these activities with you, the following guidelines become helpful. Learn more at and

For Daily Practice

While establishing a regular hour—long acupressure routine may be unrealistic, you may be able to work on each other for ten to twenty minutes a day. After reviewing the acupressure love positions in Chapter 8, choose a routine you like the most to use as a daily morning or evening practice. In addition to these exercises, I suggest regularly practicing any of the following activities:

Touch your partner as he or she is waking up. Establish a full-body ritual, wholeheartedly embracing your loved one each morning before you rise.

Hug your partner several times a day.

Make contact with your love at mid-day, offering support. Greet each other with eye contact as well as with your bodies.

Exchange a shoulder and neck massage to greet each other at the end of a busy day.

Express your love as you lie in bed in the evening, sharing the trouble and beauty the day has brought.

A Weekly Sexual Delight

This book encourages you to commit to deepening your sexual intimacy as a couple. In addition to any spontaneous sexual embraces. Learn more at

with your mate, I suggest a weekly sexual practice, setting aside a regular, sacred time to express your love for each other.
Find the best time in your schedule for a weekly date, and take an hour or two to luxuriate in each other’s touch. Offer kisses and embraces with sweetness and mutual affection. Each week, con- sciously prepare a nurturing environment for making love—Chapter 1 details how to create a sacred space. You might include the following activities in your weekly sexual delight:

Begin with some of the couples’ stretches from Chapter 4. 0 Choose one of the Thai massage routines from Chapter 11.

elect one of the Lovemaking Progressions in Chapter 10 to play and express your sexuality.

During Special Times

Planning to share special events with your partner is an important dimension to enriching your lives together. In addition to having a daily intimate practice and a weekly date, you might try the Lovemaking Progressions during special times such as a vacation, retreat, or holiday. Consider these times away from your regular work routine as an opportunity to recommit.
Every couple's life has periods of stress and you can use this book at such times to lift your spirits, enhance your intimacy, and help you be present for your partner in a significant, responsible way.

It's difficult to be intimate

The first six months of their relationship had been filled with intimacy and a powerful, erotic alchemy, but ten years later, both Gail and Scott had become too tired to make love, their lives ruled more by work than intimacy. Sex became ”sort of mechanical.”

Gail and Scott have always been comfortable sharing their feelings with me. When I told them about the couples’ exercises that I was developing for a new book on acupressure for lovers, they were both eager to explore the erotic movements and give me feedback about how they worked. Six weeks after I had suggested a series of exercises, they reported back to me that their sexual vitality had increased significantly. Each new position and way of touching had opened up a new dimension to their togetherness. Learn more at and

Scott told me that although he knew the importance of foreplay, when Gail and he made love he always had a strong desire to skip it. Often he would merely try to prepare Gail for intercourse by stimu- lating her genitals with his fingers. The more accustomed he became to giving Gail this kind of pre—intercourse stimulation and to expecting her to respond to it, the more blocked their sexual relationship had become. He admitted that he was feeling extremely frustrated with her. Since they had started to practice the couples’ acupressure exercises, however, Scott said that his feelings of intimacy and sexual connection with Gail had begun to grow again. Learn more at

Gail also attested that they felt a renewal of their initial magnetic attraction. One weekend they were sitting naked in bed together, touching each other playfully. Gail was sitting in Scott's lap facing him with her legs wrapped around him, stimulating acupressure points in his buttocks with her heels, and holding his neck with her fingers. Scott's arms were wrapped around her, holding points in her lower back. They rocked back and forth in slow motion, breathing together. As they held the points, Gail felt a tremendous flow from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

It's difficult to be intimate when either you or your partner is preoccupied, tense, or upset. When your partner comes home a bundle of nerves, relaxing physical contact can ease the stress more quickly than talking. If your partner is willing to lie down and have you work on his or her shoulders and back, a complete change of mood can occur within twenty minutes.
There are special ways to use acupressure points on your partner to create intimacy and improve the chemistry of a love relationship. These points are the same as those used in acupuncture, but instead of using needles, couples can energize these vital points through the power of touch. This book will show you many different ways to arouse and satisfy your partner by activating these points on various parts of the body.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

cuddle and breathe intimacy

Breathing deeply together is one of the most profound ways to cultivate your sexual relationship.

Deep Breathing: Try this couple's breathing exercise while you cud- dle in a spooning position, using pillows to support your heads. The partner behind places one arm underneath his or her partner's neck and holds the breastbone or forehead. The other hand holds the lower belly and is free to touch the genitals. Close your eyes and adjust your bodies comfortably, with your feet or ankles touching your partner's. Learn more at and

As you cuddle and breathe deeply together, notice your bodily sensations. Breathe in and out slowly and deeply in synchronization for several minutes. Let go of whatever feelings, memories, or judgments you're holding from the past; let go of whatever anxiety you have about the present or the future. Consciously focus on being in the present moment, feeling your body as you continue to breathe deeply in sync. . . . Ask yourselves what your hearts need. Be with the question and let the answers simply come to you. . . . Whether you drift ofi‘ to sleep or become sexually charged and aroused, let yourselves go with the flow. Learn more at and

Breath Alternation: Another way to practice couple's breathing is simply to breathe in slowly and deeply as your partner breathes out. After pausing for a few seconds, breathe out as your partner breathes in. Continue to breathe slowly and deeply in this way for several minutes as you focus on loving your partner.

After trying both ways of breathing, choose one pattern that seems most mutually satisfying. Breathing deeply together on a daily basis generates energy for a more vibrant loving couple.

Relax Your Body

The most trustworthy personal information you have comes from your own body. Your body does not lie but provides constant and direct responses to your experiences. The more you pay attention to its signals, including its minutest sensations, the easier it will be to interpret them. Intimacy requires you to be relaxed and yet attuned to the signals of your body. Cultivating body awareness, deep relax- ation, and the ability to communicate your body's responses will enable you to be more responsive to each other.


Daily stretching, such as yoga, awakens your body's circulation in new ways, and with good results for your love life. Without regular stretching, the body becomes stiff, tense, and easily tired. Everyone must take responsibility for stretching and for maintaining good overall body awareness and health.
As you stretch, tune in to your body. Close your eyes and focus your attention on how each body part feels. Don't force your body into uncomfortable stretching positions, and don't strain it. Let it stretch as far as it wants to go, trusting your judgment and your own limitations. Be flexible; the degree of your stretch at any particular time may Vary, depending on many circumstances. Stretch slowly and moderately, so that you feel a small degree of pull but not pain. If you experience pain in a stretch, you are pushing yourself too hard.
Immediately after stretching, practicing the couple's exercises, or using acupressure points, lie down on your back and make yourself comfortable, covering yourself with a blanket or a sheet. The following relaxation meditation can help you relax from your toes to your head. You may want to make a tape recording of these steps, perhaps accompanied by soothing background music.

Multiple orgasms are just the beginning

All of the information about the different kinds of orgasm is intended to inspire and inform you about what is possible. But try not to be attached to experiencing any or all of them.

Sometimes, just stimulating particular spots on the body will not necessarily be enough to bring about an orgasm. If a woman has trauma or limiting beliefs about her capacity to orgasm, this will likely affect her ability to orgasm. Sometimes, healing work is required to clear any issues and, therefore, enable orgasm.

Orgasm is not something to be forced, but rather something to open up to. Knowing that your orgasmic potential is unlimited and being present with whatever you are experiencing is the most powerful attitude you can cultivate towards your orgasms and everything else in your life.

So, as you can see, you have an unlimited capacity for orgasm in your body when you believe in your orgasmic potential and embody your orgasmic energy with powerful practices. We’ve come a long way since the beginning of this book, but there is still more to come. No matter how orgasmic you currently are, you can always explore different practices to allow for more orgasmic energy in your body. Learn more at and

By now, you are fully aware of the orgasmic potential of your body. Perhaps you have been practicing some of the techniques I’ve shared and you might already be experiencing some orgasms beyond the simple clitoral orgasm. Many women will be satisfied with that, and that’s okay.

But what I want to share with you is that an orgasm is just the beginning. If you are able to experience orgasm, then you can experience multiple orgasms or expand and deepen your orgasm to last long minutes, an hour or even longer. This won’t necessarily feel like an orgasmic peak anymore, but more of a long orgasmic state. And although milder, these feel more profound.

I once facilitated a sexual healing session for a German woman in her late twenties. She came to me for assistance because she hardly ever orgasmed. During our session, she was able to experience a few kinds of bodily orgasm – a long and intense orgasmic state, very deep pleasure sensations and a semi-trance state. But that was just the beginning. She stayed in a mild state of bliss for about three days that also included some pleasure sensations and a feeling of energy running through her body. Learn more at and

Many of my clients have had similar experiences to this. These women, and others who have attended my workshops, have been able to experience extended orgasms not because of anything I did but because I shared the idea that an orgasm can be a prolonged state and not just a momentary peak. Since most of my coaching work is done via Skype, I don’t even touch many of my clients; I simply coach and guide them to stay in the orgasm and to deepen it.

The important thing for you to understand is that these results are not about me or my ‘magic fingers.’ What enables these women to have these orgasmic experiences is an understanding of what an orgasm really is, some techniques that help uncover their full orgasmic potential, and the self-permission to stay in the orgasm and deepen it.

Multiple orgasms are just the beginning

Sometimes, when people become more orgasmic or start practicing sacred sexuality, they begin to experience multiple orgasms or facilitate them for others. Unfortunately, this can bring about a tendency to engage in an amateur sport known as ‘orgasm counting.’ You might hear these people say something like, ‘I gave a woman twenty orgasms’ or ‘I had thirty orgasms in one session.’

There’s nothing wrong with multiple orgasms! It’s great to have them, facilitate them for others and to feel good about it too. The problem is that many people stop here, believing that multiple orgasms are the peak of the sexual experience. If you are still able to count your orgasms, they may not be all that strong. And if he’s counting them, he’s missing the point. That is why I sometimes say, ‘multiple orgasms are for beginners.’

Sexual acupressure experiences

The following suggestions for successful sexual acupressure experiences invite you to make use of your breath, your capacity to notice sen- sation, your inner sensitivity to touch, and your capacities to move and communicate. As you tap each of these resources, imagine you are in an erotic playground. Relax and explore your partner, and be explored by the person you trust more than anyone in the world.

Set the Scene

First, create a special environment for giving and receiving acupres- sure. Having a special private place is a key for cultivating intimacy. It may well be your bedroom.

Make sure the place is comfortably warm, because your body may tense up if you're cold. Don't cover yourself with a blanket; this can inhibit your movements, especially during the positions and Lovemaking Progressions in Chapters 9 and 10. You may wear comfortable, light, natural fiber clothing, or you may wear nothing at all. If you are naked, make sure the room is toasty warm. Learn more at

Have plenty of pillows around, and a clean flat sheet to sit or lie on, whether it is on the floor or on the bed.

Lighting is important for creating a romantic environment. Dim the lights, or better yet, light a few candles and place them around the room. Candlelight’s soft glow enhances skin tones. If you have no candles, place a scarf over a lamp for subdued lighting—but be sure it is far enough away from the bulb that it doesn't create a fire hazard. You may also want to play relaxing, quiet music.

Create sacred time—an hour each day, an afternoon each week, or a weekend each month—to be alone together, to respond to each other in a natural, unpressured, and unscheduled way. Come without expectations or an agenda. Nothing is ”supposed” to happen; the only goal is to be present in each other’s company.

Deep—belly breathing is a profound tool for couples who want to heighten their experience of lovemaking. Visualize each breath as having four parts: and

A slow, deep inhalation

Several seconds with the breath held

An even slower exhalation

A momentary pause before beginning the next inhalation

When your breathing is long and deep, your body cells become fully nourished and oxygenated, enabling you to feel more. Whatever feelings or body sensations surface, continue to breathe deeply and be present with your partner. Simply listen and breathe without rationalizing or judging. By being in the present moment while you breathe, touch, and hold each other, you can share the innermost parts of yourselves—without uttering a word! This is how deep breathing nurtures sexual intimacy.

While practicing the exercises in this book with your partner, remember to take full, slow, complete breaths together. By nourishing your bodies with breath, you will generate a greater feeling of well- being in your relationship. The many far—reaching effects of deep conscious breathing include:

Fortifying your sexual reproductive system 0 increasing your sensual awareness and pleasures

Enhancing your vital energy, opening your heart to love, and stabilizing your emotional intimacy

Bringing you into the present moment, enabling you to participate fully in an intimate sexual exchange

When correct breathing is practiced, the myriad ailments will not occur. When breathing is depressed or strained, all sorts of diseases will arise. Those who wish to nurture their lives must first learn the correct methods of controlling breath and balancing energy. These breathing methods can care all ailments great and small.