Hi, Kim, I’m having a challenging time with not coming. I can get to 8, then 9, then very quickly 10. Trying to change by either taking my cock out and going down on my partner, changing positions, focusing on breathing, is it all just practice? Do you have any other tips? KIM: It is all just practice, for sure. The things that you’re doing sound great. The breath is primary, if you’re getting close, then you’re going to stop and pause and switch up to something else. Then you can also practice your self-pleasuring. It’s obviously not going to be quite the same as from the intensity as when you’re actually inside your partner, but you can really practice and train yourself. You’re trying to rewire these new neural pathways, which is what you can do through your own solo practice, is when you build up to that edge and then slowly incrementally increase the edge and then make sure that you’re always defaulting to the breathing and you’re always having a relaxed, unclenched body and buttocks and thighs and pelvis and that you just open it. That would be the other thing I would throw in there that’s also worth cultivating. But yes, overall, the big answer is it just takes time and commitment. Don’t give up and, “Oh, I just can’t.” Just really stay committed to it, that you can get through, you can cultivate this complete control and stamina. You can be able to reach orgasm without ejaculation, it just is a matter of time. Learn more at http://www.cuisine-east.co.uk/?p=798 and http://alphaguys.weebly.com/blog/occasions-while-having-sex
My question is actually piggybacking off of the last question. You’re saying it takes time, is it just basically dependent on the person and what their blocks are and everything else, how long that actually takes? Do you find that there’s like a point at which things start working? KIM: It depends how much—like let’s say, I’ve seen with clients where they’ve had a really, really intense porn regime and so they’ve got this total pattern where they’re watching porn or they’ve had like very superficial, I guess, orgasmic experiences and so they’ve hardwired that kind of pattern and energy into their system and that can take longer. It still totally happens, but it can take a bit longer or they might notice that they go flaccid without all the clenching and tightening and the porn or whatever, the fantasy play. I’d say it depends how far you’ve crossed over into the other side that will affect how quickly you can, in yourself. For some guys, they can do it really easily, like they can bring that intention or say if they’ve got a practice of yoga or martial arts where they’re used to doing some cultivation and movement and awareness of energy in their body, they’ve opened up these energy channels. Those guys can change very, very quickly. Most people fall somewhere in between. Okay, got it. Thank you.