Monday, March 13, 2017

Boosting Her Intimacy With You

 My question is in regards to polarity and I’ve mentioned this before, but in a situation where I’m currently single, I’m getting out of a relationship and one of the biggest things I’ve grappled with recently is whether or not it’s a relationship worth pursuing in the long run. My question is, is about—trying to think of how to say this well—in the relationship there was a point where the polarity was great and then it shifted toward…she tended to start to be more masculine and stop trusting me as much. I started to do a lot of work on my own masculine energy because I’ve had a tendency to—yeah, I think I’m pretty balanced as far as masculine and feminine goes. I’ve leaned more feminine as far as energy goes in the past several years, except now I’m coming back around to embrace the masculine side. I found that no matter how much work I did on that, I wasn’t able to really keep the energy repolarized for…except for short periods of time. I’m wondering, sometimes in relationship, is it something where two people’s base energies are just not compatible or is this something that can be worked through and with conscious intension and communication? KIM: Well, before she—you said that she took on more masculine and stopped trusting you as much. What was the polarity dynamic at that point, before that happened? CALLER: I’ve been examining that. In the beginning, there was definitely a good masculine/feminine dynamic. I would say that we kind of traded off on it though, it’s like either I would be more masculine or she would be more masculine, but then it just got to the point where she just became more masculine. Then I was working on being more masculine and it just, we ended up butting heads a lot. It ended up being a power struggle, as I see it, instead of two people working together.  Learn more at and

There were moments when she really began to cultivate her femininity and she worked with it, that really worked, but as an overall like theme for the relationship, toward the end, it ended up crumbling. I felt emasculated and inadequate in being able to bring it back to a good place. KIM: Diving back into more dramatic polarities is also risking vulnerability. For the women, if the relationship is degenerating in other respects and not just in polarity, or that’s obviously, probably been a contributor to some of the degeneration, then when we begin to become less vulnerable and put walls up and barricades and we don’t really want to open to the person, that’s going to manifest as a lack of polarity, especially on the part of the woman. She’s not open anymore, she’s not really willing to risk or trust. She’s taking more control, she doesn’t want to not be in control, so she’s taking on what would seem like more of that masculine energy and it is, but it’s also borne out of really defending herself and starting to think, “Okay, I need to move forward and out of this relationship and take on more of that masculine energy.” Have you guys had discussions about polarity because I’d say that within a dynamic, one of the most important pieces if you become…you’ve taken on the opposite roles, is to acknowledge that you’re both working toward removing that or shifting the balance again.

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