Sunday, February 12, 2017

Intimacy with Women and Orgasms

After crying for weeks and questioning my worth as a human being, I shut off emotionally to everyone around me. I engaged in surface-level intimate relationships where I had all of the control. I dated women whom I knew would be in awe of me so that there was never a chance of being left. I constructed a social mask that I could hide behind with my friends, family, and relationship partners. I was an impressive shell of a person who was suffering internally and who was beyond emotionally distraught.

But eventually, the emotional incongruence of feeling terrible but presenting to the world as getting by wonderfully came up to bite me in the ass.

I started to have panic attacks. I started to get depressed. The emotions that I had become so adept at shoving down started to boil up, larger than ever. Learn about Vigrg Plus at

I felt a general emotional dissatisfaction that permeated everything that I did. The most blissful activities were empty. I didn’t enjoy being around my closest friends or family members for fear of letting them really see me. My life was a big grey mass of numbed emotions.

It was through this series of panic attacks and general quarter-life crisis that I decided that enough was enough. It was time for me to start feeling the emotions that I had shoved down six years prior.

As much as it terrified me, I knew that I had to earn my way back to becoming an emotionally whole, complete individual. Learn more at

What you’re about to read is my understanding—gained through years of study, practice, setbacks, and self-awareness—of the root causes of what I call “intimacy anxiety,” what the individual triggers are, and how to successfully work through intimacy anxiety in order to be able to engage in a deeply loving intimate relationship, first with yourself and then with your intimate partner.

She was a deeply intuitive woman who knew exactly what to say to me to make her words have the greatest impact possible. And she succeeded.

While absorbing the barrage of verbal blows, I felt myself retreat internally. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I had let someone so deeply into my emotional world and now they were emotionally decapitating me.

At that moment, I thought the words that would be my eventual undoing. I told myself, “I will never let anyone have this level of power over me ever again.”

And for the next six years, I proved those words right. One of the most common reasons that I hear from my clients for their difficulty in finding love is past traumatic relationships.

Whether it was a nasty breakup, an emotionally or physically abusive partner, or someone who slowly eroded away their self-esteem, an abundance of negative reference experience in past intimate relationships would make anyone reluctant to jump into love again.

As much as we try to minimize the impact of how much others affect us, emotional wounds can stay with us for years or even decades.

It does not make you a less worthy or less loveable person because you have intimacy anxiety brought on by past intimate partners. It makes you a courageous and commendable person for being as intentional as you are by reading these words right now.

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