Monday, February 13, 2017

Cultivating Sexual Energy

My wife’s position is that she doesn’t like the texture of pre-ejaculate and has issues with the smell of ejaculate. We’re keeping in mind here that she is pregnant. I don’t want to force the issue so I’m not sure how to proceed in bringing it up in an artful manner. I’m not sure if I should come right out and say, ‘Hey, how do you feel about consuming ejaculate,’ or should I just focus on the sex between us to evaluate and help bring us to the place of such closeness and open vulnerability that she can just look past the texture and smell issues. Basically I’m not sure if I should try talking about it more so it’s not something that becomes a block or puts focus on different areas, like bringing us closer together. Learn more at

I would put focus on bringing you guys closer together and then hopefully that closeness and vulnerability transcends. If somebody is having a physical issue, like, “Oh, I don’t like the taste or the smell,” to me that’s not the issue, it’s something deeper than that. I would just leave that actual conversation for now and then keep moving toward creating closeness. I think your idea of working on the closeness and vulnerability first is best. Yes, out of that hopefully there will be generated more openness and she’ll feel more amenable to these things. I would leave addressing it overtly right now and just keep focused on your connection and then as that blossoms, you could bring it up as a topic later and include my ideas on the benefits of absorbing ejaculate and how it’s representative of your desire to really take in your partner. Learn more at

I talked about the idea of cultivating sexual energy with my wife and she asked me what should the transition look like from having sex to not having ejaculating or having what is usually a clitoral orgasm to not having sex?I’m not sure what that not having sex part means at the end, but I think if you mean the shifting, it’s really like that you accept a different outcome. You may or may not have these orgasms at the end of your encounter and that that’s okay. The goal of your sexual connection, rather than just to blow a load, both speaking from the clitoris and typical penile orgasms as well. My reframe is all about harvesting, and I think that’s why so many people are messed up sexually, because we have all kinds of crazy stuff going on in the world with our energies because it leaks out, orgasm is misdirected, and this work is all about the conscious harvesting of sexual energy. The point isn’t just ejaculation for either person. The female orgasms are a little bit more important as milestones, the deeper vaginal ones, because they indicate a level of openness and surrender. Again, for men especially, it’s almost the opposite. We want to perpetuate infinite orgasm by not ejaculating or at least conscious ejaculating or breathing and ejaculating.

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